The Art of Praise: A Delicate Balance in Cultivating Personal Growth

In the bustling city of Osaka, amidst the vibrant hues of Golden Week, Kansai Buddy’s day unfolds with a sense of joy and community. The air is filled with laughter and the warmth of rekindled friendships. In the midst of this festive atmosphere, a more profound reflection emerges—a contemplation on the nuanced art of praise, particularly when it comes to nurturing the growth of young minds.

The Golden Week Gathering

Golden Week in Japan is a cherished time, a series of national holidays that bring families and friends together. For our storyteller, it’s a period to reconnect with loved ones who are scattered across the country, thanks to work and other commitments. Amidst the revelry, there’s a special anticipation for the visit of two dear friends, Teme and Okko, who are coming to stay at the storyteller’s house. The evening promises to be filled with the delightful chaos of children playing, creating a backdrop against which the narrator reflects on the subtleties of praise.

The Power of Words: Praise and Its Impact

The storyteller, a proud uncle to three young children—Meiko and Iniko, one Hameko, and two Okko—finds himself in a position where he often interacts with them. Living in close proximity to his parents and brother, he has ample opportunities to observe and engage with these young souls. The uncle’s affectionate gaze is not without its filters, acknowledging a natural bias that paints his nieces and nephews in the most favorable light. Yet, this uncle is keenly aware of the potential pitfalls in the way praise is offered.

The Paradox of Praise: A Cautionary Tale

Drawing from the wisdom of the Analects of Analects, a book that delves into the concept of ‘OKAY’, the narrator highlights the importance of aligning one’s actions with their role. The analogy he uses illustrates this point through the progression from a regular employee to a general manager, and eventually, to the role of a president. Each step up the ladder requires not just a change in title but a transformation in behavior, a shift in perspective, and an expansion of responsibilities.

This principle, the narrator asserts, holds true when it comes to praising individuals, especially children. Bestowing the title of ‘good child’ or ‘kind child’ on a young one can, inadvertently, place an expectation on them to live up to this ideal at all times. While such praise might seem harmless, it can inadvertently limit a child’s self-perception and restrict their freedom to explore various facets of their personality. The pressure to conform to an externally imposed identity can stifle their natural growth and self-discovery.

Praise with Purpose: A Mindful Approach

The storyteller advocates for a thoughtful approach to praise. When commending a child for their kindness, the focus should not solely be on the act itself but on the underlying values and emotions it represents. For instance, instead of saying, “You’re such a good child,” it’s more beneficial to express appreciation for the specific action: “Nana-chan, I’m so happy you helped me. Your kindness made my day brighter.” This form of praise acknowledges the child’s actions while reinforcing positive behaviors without confining them to a narrow identity.

Extending the Principle: Praise for Adults

The narrator extends this principle beyond the realm of childhood, emphasizing that adults, too, can be unconsciously constrained by the roles we assign them through our praise. Compliments that highlight specific traits, such as calmness or maturity, can inadvertently pigeonhole individuals, making them feel obligated to maintain these characteristics at the expense of their multifaceted selves.

Cultivating Growth through Mindful Praise

In this podcast, Kansai Buddy invites listeners to consider the impact of their words. Praise, when offered mindfully, can be a powerful tool for fostering growth and self-discovery. It’s not about avoiding praise altogether but rather about being conscientious in how it is given. By focusing on specific actions and values rather than labels, we empower individuals to explore their full potential without the burden of predefined roles.

Conclusion: A Golden Week Reflection

As Golden Week unfolds, the storyteller’s reflections on the art of praise serve as a gentle reminder to all. Let us celebrate the joy of gathering with loved ones while also being mindful of the power of our words. In the spirit of fostering growth and nurturing individuality, let us embrace a thoughtful approach to praise, ensuring that it becomes a catalyst for positive change rather than a barrier to self-expression.

In this podcast, Kansai Buddy not only shares personal anecdotes but also invites us to be part of a broader conversation about the role of praise in our daily lives. As the sounds of laughter and the vibrant hues of Golden Week continue to fill the air, let us take a moment to reflect on how we can use praise as a tool for empowerment, celebrating the unique qualities that make each of us who we are.

Final Thoughts

The podcast concludes with an invitation to join the storyteller on his journey through Japanese culture and daily life. From the historic streets of Kyoto to the bustling city of Osaka, Kansai Buddy offers a window into the heart of Japanese culture, encouraging listeners to explore, learn, and reflect. In the spirit of Golden Week, may we all find moments of joy, connection, and growth in the simple acts of praise and appreciation that we share with one another.